Let’s face it, dogs are not humans. If humans wanted their pets to act like humans they’d dress them up and feed them at the table. Oh, wait—some do. But most of them just want us to be dogs. So, why do they complain when we act like dogs?

This column is about one of the great joys of being a dog—rolling in and eating things humans find really disgusting. There are many tempting things out there—stuff for all of us, and most importantly, for all seasons. Since it’s winter, let’s start there.

With winter comes the ever popular poopsicle. It’s the right size, it smells great, it’s frozen, it’s portable and it comes in many varieties: bear, raccoon, moose. Most importantly, it lasts! If you can sneak it inside you can enjoy it for hours. A touch to each side of the neck is often enough to gain your humans’ admiration. (Note: It’s best not to leave it to thaw on your humans’ chairs or sofas.)

Spring is the best season for discoveries. As the snow melts, gifts left from living animals and all kinds of rotting vegetation appear. As a bonus, there are those animals that haven’t made it through the winter. They leave their carcass for you to recycle. These are whole body treats—head, neck, shoulders and back. If you have trouble getting past your humans on the way back into the house, get a running start and ignore their commands to stop.

Summer can be a bit sparse, unless you live around horses or cows. For those of you who don’t, the cat can be a source for birds and small furry rodents. You’re bigger. Go ahead—take it away from the cat. Just watch those claws.

Fall—ah, fall. The annual migration of very large birds with great capacity to create gifts for us. They drop big soupy offerings—and they announce their arrival! Dogs like to use different techniques here: some like to take a playful leap and slide through it; others, often called “bird dogs” take the time to carefully cover their necks with it.

Chow,

Baxter

Thought for the month: The gifts of other animals are truly magnificent. Enjoy them!