As I write this, I'm on a flight from San Diego to Newark, NJ on my way back from an annual dog training conference. In the row across the aisle is a screaming 5 month old baby expressing at the top of her wee lungs how displeased she is with her current situation. Or perhaps she's physically distressed. Or maybe she just wants attention? Whatever the cause, her screaming didn't last long and it ceased without any yelling on the part of her mom. How nice!

With this baby is a toddler, a very cute boy around 2 years old, who is happily playing with some toys on his tray table. He has grandma on one side, mom on the other and his grandpa is next to me: a happy kid sandwich.

The baby will most likely fuss again before our 5 hour flight is up and the toddler will tire of playing with his toys. But they are well managed by their family. The baby wasn't "disciplined" for barking, er, "crying," and I'm confident that the boy will be supplied with a variety of activities so that he remains as well behaved as possible given the situation.1

It can be hard for us to apply this same sense of understanding and management to our four-footed friends, but that's exactly what we need to do. We don't (or shouldn't) angrily yell "shut up" over and over to a crying baby. For one, the baby won't understand the words due to limited language skills, and for another, it probably wouldn't work and in fact may even make him cry louder.

We would not expect our toddlers to stay quiet, content and out of trouble if we were to put them in a room, unattended, with breakables or other inappropriate items. On the flip-side, we frequently admonish our dogs for barking and we regularly leave dogs unattended in inappropriate places. We then end up punishing them for our own failures in management which is hugely unfair to them and can have long-term negative consequences.

Though dogs are not humans, good parenting skills can be directly applied to dog ownership and if we were to practice them on a regular basis, we'd have significantly fewer behavioral issues with our dogs (and they'd have fewer issues with us!).

Keep in mind that our dogs are perpetual toddlers in mindset, veritable athletes in body and armed with knives!

"…dogs have the mental ability approximating that of humans between two and three years of age... in language, object recognition, and concept formation. That means that if we are posing a problem or teaching a task which would be too difficult for a human two or three-year-old to solve or learn, it is likely to be beyond the dog's capacity as well." 2

Oh dear… turbulence over the Rockies. That environmental change prompted some complaints from the baby!

1. turns out this boy is a seasoned traveler and has been on numerous flights and really enjoys plane rides!

2. Psychology Today, "What Are the Limits of Canine Learning," 7/11 by Stanley Coren, Ph.D., F.R.S.C.

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diana@petconnectionmaine.com